It started off with this weird compulsion of him assuming my apartment was a B&B
A fuckboy of note he started catching feelings from the first drink I offered to buy
Had been doing way too many late nights at work so figured let me go with the flow tonight
So I got home, dressed up and headed out without the girls
They way too judgmental either-way, not in the mood for a Sunday intervention
Given my ratchet intentions for the night, I was soo riding solo
Picking up a guy is really easy if you know how to play it smooth
My victim for the night had no idea what was coming his way
Bug argh this boys are childish nowadays
First was the unfunny jokes then came the childish sweet-nothings and pickup-lines
In my mind I had already picked him for the night was just hoping he doesn’t fuck it up
Could tell he was nervous as we got to my place by the way he couldn’t stop talking
First was the over kissing and spanking of my behind
Next thing he dies out 5 minutes into it
Then Came the wired cuddles in the early hours
Thinking to myself now I know I just didn’t leave the club to this BS
Don’t get me started about all the snoring and the smelly armpits
At this point he had no idea what my name was
Had already given him the wrong numbers so as to avoid any re-ignition of this failed good-time
Soon as he died out he promised an early round soon as morning comes
Decided I’ve had enough..
No but really I just wanted him to hit that was it
No emotions, no attachments
Can’t a girl just have fun without you assuming I wanna date?
Started brainstorming ways of how to get rid of this little situation…
A quick tap on my iPhone and the driver came to get him!
THANK GAWD FOR UBER!!