If Knowing You Means I Cripple Myself, Then No Hard Feelings, But I’d Rather Not Know You At All… By Moshibudi Thatego Madia

27 May


Too many people are always stuck between doing things for others or themselves, and not because they want what’s best for the other party, but rather because they are scared to fully reveal themselves. They’d rather go by, for years, being cast under someone else’s shadow.

One Saturday morning, I was sitting in a lecture hall waiting for the lecturer to call my name so that I can go up and say my piece. In between the waiting and watching everybody else present, I noticed that for many of my colleagues, they’d get to the front, eye their friends then laugh their presentation through. I was left wondering, what’s so funny? And if there isn’t anything funny, then why are you laughing??

They laughed because their friends were laughing, even though the person was prepared, the mere depiction of how really ready they were would thrown the rest of the observing friends. This was not a matter of sharing a nervous laugh, but rather choosing to sabotage yourself by keeping your work mediocre, because the rest of your ‘cool’ friends are, you have to remind yourself that you can’t confuse them with the real you. This continued for the entire 7 hours we were there. But it wasn’t the first time I’d seen such behavior. The truth is, there are many, many people who would rather live a double life, rather than their own. Now, my questions are, how much more of your priceless life are you willing to give away so cheaply? What good is that? We want so badly to be liked by someone that drowning ourselves for their sake, just so they never know just how different we are is not a problem. I wrote this article not it’s never happened to me, but rather because I managed to find my feet and my voice, escaping the grip of society, the need to be the loudest voice, because in the clique’s that’s cool, the need to cause the biggest scene, because the clique stunts like that, the need to feel like doing things you know aren’t you but rather what the clique makes you out to be.


My mother always says that you are the best YOU, you can ever be, for the longest time, I didn’t understand that, until I decided to know myself, and begin to embrace what I like. So, stop your role as the free and exploited double agent, heck, if you’re going to do something so time and energy consuming, at least get paid for it right? My last question then I’ll be out of your hair, are the people around you holding you back or embracing your uniqueness? If not, then are those hyenas worth caging the lion in you?


Article By Moshibudi Thatego Madia

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Posted by on May 27, 2015 in Feminism, Love Wednesdays


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