From a tender age, boys are taught to just get on the bike and hope they make it work, give or take a couple of bruises and all. We open our own doors, teach ourselves how to drive and by the time we get to varsity we realise that the world offers no plan B to us. With that type of mindset we soldier on and make whatever comes our way work. When it comes to going out on a date, regardless of who offered we know to always keep a Madiba ready because the bill will be tossed our side. When it came to that first time you planned to engage in some sexy time, you where automatically expected to bring the rubbers. Girls are therefore shielded from such small areas or responsibility, and with time this small responsibilities help shape your character.
Takes me back to varsity back when a dude was broke throwing Russian Bear Punch Parties with some unlimited Hubbly supply to keep the conversation going as we played pass the smoke with devilish intentions.
“My Nigga Pass Me The Hookah”
Whenever we went out, we knew to keep a R20 aside just in-case there was entrance money, of course it was always ladies free. You see dudes are raised to never expect handouts, how many women have asked you to buy them a drink at a club? Never really understood why girls always assume guys have money. What’s the cost of being a gentleman in this day and age? MONEY!! a lot of it.
Then comes the sugar daddies with their unethical mannerisms… If you actually think about it, they have added greatly to gender inequality. I know a lot of women who have sworn oath to never pay for any drinks at a club, swore they would never pay for their own hair, concert or plane tickets because the guy with the pot belly’s got a lot of money to offer. Paying for the bill for most is a total no no. What this means is they’ve always got options, and the more options you have, the less hustle you put in.
“Kind of a woman that want you but don’t need you”
Don’t be scared brother, I have kept to my financial lane and i’ll tell you, once you cross over and start lifting the confidence off your wallet and start focusing on other value add character traits, you eventually open your eyes up to a different type of women. It’s like the Baader Meinhoff complex, once you start engaging with independent women, you get to experience more of them.
The truth is for most men, money is used as a form control mechanism upon women, which is why most prefer women who depend on them financially, this gives them a sense of power and control which then leads to a sense of entitlement to that woman. This leads to cases of abuse and illtreatment knowing that she has nowhere to go as she has nothing to fall back on, going back home is not an option as her ancestors told her “Lebitla la mosadi ke bogadi”
Solution to all of this? Do not wait for no superman to come rescue you, get your paper right boo….
“Miss Independent, That’s why I love her”
Article by kagiso Maloma
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